Troubled waters and dangerous times
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sometimes, I find my life pretty ironic. My life goes up during the first term. I made new friends, get a new life, and basically, I had everything.
Then it went down.
and it keeps sinking.
Fault after fault, condemnation after another condemnation
After today, I feel that I'm tearing down what I build during the first quarter of the year.
I've just lost 2 friends, both close and important to me. I've officially left the adventist church today after the bible study, and I have no idea how to make up or all the friends I'm going to leave behind. I used to look forward to weekends because of them. Now I'm back to square 1.
I feel like I'm doing everything wrong in 2009. I'm making the wrong types of decisions, playing with the wrong kind of emotion, enjoying the wrong kind of fun.
Life's heading down. and at the rate I'm falling, it's just so difficult to crawl back up again.
I don't want to leave the situation just as it is. I don't want to sit aside and watch my life fall apart and crumble to pieces. I want to salvage what I have left, and if need be, build up on them. But I got to be careful. One wrong decision, and I could spiral back tpo the abyss I'm trying to escape.
I'm feeling sadder these few days. Really. I don't think I've ever seen darker days than this one. For a person who really relies on people for his strength, it really is hard to get back up when nobody believes in you.
But I'm kinda glad I'm taking shit at this age.
When I grow up, I'll probably be facing tougher problems ahead. These are just the taster. The appetizer for what's to come in the future.
If I can build my resistance to adversities now, I'll be able to survive in the future.
Interesting E mails
Monday, May 18, 2009
Many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up an e-mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of people to choose from. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. Probably not funny to the individual involved, however:
TOP TEN Actual E-mail Addresses
10. Helen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht @ dku.edu
9. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) - dickinme @ iup.edu
8. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) - kissinfk @ lvu.edu
7. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) - aspicker @ pu.edu
6. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) - ibballin @ bsu.edu
5. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division, Overton Canada) - btkisser @ bendover.com
4. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) - ihadcock @ tru.com
3. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) - cumminme @ fu.edu
2. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) - blowmegd @ dropdrawers.com
...but at No 1, it had to be...
1. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) - beeranbj @ myplace.com
The evil side
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Tenacity.
I don't just want perseverence. I want tenacity. The tenacity to keep fighting. It's just like the fantasy that Viknesh and I talked about in class.
We're going to keep fighting. If someone stabs us, we keep moving. If someone shoots us, we keep running. And we don't just move. We conquer.
Don't back down. Don't falter. We charge and charge. I'm going to take down the front lines. I'm going to break through the enemies formation, and cause chaos in the very hearts of their defense.
I'm going to spill every last drop of my blood to reach that goal. I wonder why I get such a feeling. But with this in mind, I saw, and I conquer.
Old vs Young
Monday, May 11, 2009
When the young get mad, I understand
When the old people gets mad, I don't.
When the young people make loads of noise, I understand
When the old people make loads of noise, it's just plain annoying.
When the young make stupid mistakes, I understand.
When the old does the same idiotic thing, it's stupidity.
I don't know why, but I seem to like the young more. Both young and old exhibit the same kind of transgression, but it's the young that truely amazes me. Not the old. I just find them annoying.
H1N1 flu
Sunday, May 10, 2009
When life gives you lemons
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
You know the phrase, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonades?"
I kinda find that phrase stupid. Firstly, lemons are meant to be thrown at other people, eg. gao fu, not made into lemonades. Why waste precious ammo? Secondly, what would you do when you get lemons?
Duh. Sell, trade, convince some idiot that the yellow fruit is actually made of gold. I'll trade it for orange or apple and make orange and apple juice out of them.
Or I can take the seeds in lemon and plant countless of lemon trees. Wait for the butterflies, birds and bees to do their job, cross pollinate with other fruits elsewhere, and soon, I'll have a whole botanical garden to myself. Hey, who say I can't make a garden of Eden without lemons?
As studied from POA, never waste anything. Anything can be used. I'll package the lemons and send it to anyone who's hospitalized. I get rid of the lemons, and the sick get extra vitamin C. Double kill.
So you see, when life gives you lemons, I won't make lemonade. I'll start a revolution with lemons.
And I'll start by reading my bible =P
live live live live live
Sunday, May 3, 2009
See that title?
That's what I wanna be.
But we all know that's not gonna happen cause John didn't do his homework again.
Teachers have this funny concept: Long weekends means long homework.
Do they even have lives? I mean who works on labor day? It's meant for people to rest. GET IT? LABOR
I'm suppose to hand in files. And I've never been good at filing stuff. Ever since primary school, I failed all my file check tests. And I don't see why I should break tradition. I'm suppose to hand in my GP file tmr. Thing is.... There's only 1 GP assignment in my file. God knows where the others went.
AM I SCREWED OR WHAT?
It's really a big laugh.
Anyway, since it's a Sunday, I might as well post about church. I'm troubled by the whole sabbath thing. I really am.
Bored and tired
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I'm bored, and I'm tired. Here's how I imagine my labor's day is gonna be: study study study.
And for someone that's way behind schoolwork, I would say thats a perfectly logical thing to do.
But like an uncontrollable idiot, i got on my com, and spent half a day on it. playing, watching xmen origins all over again, trying new heros on dota.
Am I still stuck with the secondary school mentality? I mean, everyone around me is studying like &^%$ and it pisses me off that I'm not upping my standards to compete on par with them.
On the plus side, I realised that intelligence alone factored in with wisdom and brightness makes a devastating combo. The wisdom brings you to your study table. The brightness keeps you enthusiastic. The intelligences keeps all the useless information you just picked up.
speaking of useless information, I'm so not going to be a scientist or an engineer. I swear to god, I don't ever want to base my life on equatons and graphs. I see my mathematical career going up in flames in the future. And I guess I can pick up music. With the piano and Guitar already on my sides, who knows. I may be the next hillsong.
My days spent today wasn't entirely fruitless either. I'm creating a new garena password, and giving it to vik. then wipe it from the bowels of my meomory so I would never play again. I'm hiding all my games / songs into this huge folder called "Maze" Like it's name suggest. It's a maze. With 60 over folders and songs randomly shuffled into each one, I doubt I bother digging out the games and music. I'm actually kinda proud of my work.
hopefully tmr will be a fruitful day. Or maybe not.... I got the pepsi in the fridge, my homework on the table outside, and my ipod - OMG I LEFT MY IPOD OUTSIDE. BYE
The cry of my Heart
Friday, May 1, 2009
Do you ever wonder if you're not living the life you're meant to be living? or that you're destined for greater things in this world, but you simply let the opportunity pass?
I let that opportunity pass.
And I hate the regret that comes with it.
That aside, I kinda wonder what would really happen if I really started studying now. I've been going out so often, even my mum has to complain to the pastor of my church. Yeah, I'm bloody pissed at that. So Right now, I gotta study, and study, and study.
Anyway, there's so many things I wanna talk about. So many things to blog about. BUt unlike last time, I don't really care anymore.
Played pool, sneak out to play lan with my best buddy, bought a bible, forced to sing "my little sunshine in class" as punishment....
It's like all the retarded moments in my life that should have made it's debut over at this blog, but something inside of me is rejecting the very idea of writing my life down here.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad, or stressed. I'm happy. It 's a totally different exhilaration.
Now I better get off this blog and start studying before my parents come home. =P
