Troubled waters and dangerous times
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sometimes, I find my life pretty ironic. My life goes up during the first term. I made new friends, get a new life, and basically, I had everything.
Then it went down.
and it keeps sinking.
Fault after fault, condemnation after another condemnation
After today, I feel that I'm tearing down what I build during the first quarter of the year.
I've just lost 2 friends, both close and important to me. I've officially left the adventist church today after the bible study, and I have no idea how to make up or all the friends I'm going to leave behind. I used to look forward to weekends because of them. Now I'm back to square 1.
I feel like I'm doing everything wrong in 2009. I'm making the wrong types of decisions, playing with the wrong kind of emotion, enjoying the wrong kind of fun.
Life's heading down. and at the rate I'm falling, it's just so difficult to crawl back up again.
I don't want to leave the situation just as it is. I don't want to sit aside and watch my life fall apart and crumble to pieces. I want to salvage what I have left, and if need be, build up on them. But I got to be careful. One wrong decision, and I could spiral back tpo the abyss I'm trying to escape.
I'm feeling sadder these few days. Really. I don't think I've ever seen darker days than this one. For a person who really relies on people for his strength, it really is hard to get back up when nobody believes in you.
But I'm kinda glad I'm taking shit at this age.
When I grow up, I'll probably be facing tougher problems ahead. These are just the taster. The appetizer for what's to come in the future.
If I can build my resistance to adversities now, I'll be able to survive in the future.
