Exam depression
Friday, July 4, 2008
Exams are the perfect way to torture someone.
First you tell the candidate that there will be exams.
Then you evilly set up difficult - never heard before questions.
Then tell them to study over the "holidays"
After holiday is over, dampen their holiday spirit with such killer exam papers.
Laugh in sadistic mirth as you see the candidates struggle to squeeze every drop of their brain juice into the papers.
Smile as you mark big red crosses on papers after papers.
Then declare that the students that there are too stupid to understand.
Student get's depressed. And th whole cycle repeats itself.
See? That's why examinations have been around way even before world war 1.
Cause it's the best method to torture someone.
What's the use of such knowledge man...
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Boss: Okay. I'm thirsty. Secretary. Go fix me some coffee.University secretary: Sorry man. All I did in school is write report. Want me to hand in a report?Boss: You gotta be kidding me, stupid university graduates.PHD University researcher: I can help you with that. I want one person to find the best mug in the kitchen. I want another to research on the best coffee beans, and another to research on how to brew coffee. And I need someone to present the coffee to the boss.Boss: WTF? Get me my coffee in 5 minutes. Or else, you're fired.Chemistry Scientist: May I add that the coffee grains contains complex chemical bonds that are broken down by the hydrochloric acid in your stomach. These simpler substances then oxidise and then degenerate to form dangerous sulphate particles.Primary school kid: -That's shit.Chemistry Scientist: And sulphurPrimary Student: That's fart.Boss: I have no idea how coffee makes you fart and shit. But I haven't shitted in a while. I sure could use a dump now.Physics teacher: cannot. The velocity of your constipated Shit will crack the toilet bowl.See, V2 = U2 + 2asSince the shit is a highly compressed mass-bio teacher cuts off-It's Organic enzymes!-Physics teacher rolls eyes--this organic piece of shit is higly dense. Hence mass is high. Since mass is high, The force needed to eject them out is therefore greater than normal. This results in having a higher acceleration. Now Sub F = MA into v2 = u2 + 2as. You get one highly dense projectile.-second physics teacher-Now comes kinematics. Since shit is banana in shape. It curves, like a parabola. Now you have to apply 2-d motion. But first, you gotta appreciate the gravitational force acting on the mass. MGH. Since mass is high. Therefore, force of earth on shit is high. Now apply the velocities together. V = U + aT, where T tends to 3 seconds.Boss: Erm... coffee?Maths teacher: T can't tend to 3 seconds! It's not to infinity.Boss: Okay, where do all you teachers come from?Teachers: We all got fired cause there's too many teachers in singapore.Boss: Well, You're fired from here too. Heck, I'm getting my own coffee.see. THATS WHY EXAMS DON'T HELP!
