Semi Pro
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Maths trail was a little dissappointing, as well as exciting. One, the questions the give were way below expectations. I mean, the front of my maths trail shirt says differentiatoin, integration, functions, and linear equations. All which I am not well versed at. And we ended up solving some loser shapes equations, the very same that I did in primary school. But still, we didn't manage to win any prizes. Dang it. It just made me look stupid. Cause we chose to finish the whole trail, and bypass the prize giving ceremony.
We dedcided to skip our obligations to homeworks to watch semi-pro. Which was hilarious. Okay, it wasn't so inspiring, and there was a couple of bullshitting comments made here and there. But it's nice to watch an underdog movie once in a while. Something like coach carter, except less exciting, and more hilarious.
Then studied at starbucks with charmaine at suntec city. No idea how I ended up there from plaza singapura. Probably david's fault.
I was suppose to study today as well, save for the fact that she was too tired to come. Lazybum.
When she called, Joel was eating on my bed, with his head lying gayishly on my lap. I was sitting on my bed, eating pizza, while trying to steal some morsels of my brother's fries. Then charmaine called. I reached out to pick up my phone... and my fork did a 180 degree spin and fell of my plate.... right on my brother's head.
lucky it never touched the bed. But still... the fork has my brother's goo on it. eww.
Rants, cautions adviced. Don't read on if you don't know me very wellI'm getting sick and tired with my life. My inability to do something. Everytime I try to do something, it gets put offed by distractions. My dad's beginning to give up on me by urging me to quit council. My mum thinks I'm working too hard when I'm actually stoning in front of my notes. Something is wrong with me. There are instances where my attention span is at it's peak.here I can absorb adnormally large amounts of data. And therare instances where my mind simply switches off. I blame it on lack of sleep. I've been pushing for 5 hours of sleep the past few weeks, and the exhaustion is killing me.
Where's the urgency that burned within me during O levels. Have I lost it? Or have I lost my confidence? Everytime I look at my maths papers, I get scared. I get overwhelmed by the disadvantages of not taking A maths. People could accomplish a simple questions with the help of differentiation or logaritham, while I lag behind with insufficient prerequisite knowledge to understand the fundemental basics of the question.
I'm losing it.
And I'm pretty scared. I have to sweat harder than my fellow peers when it comes to catching up. And I'm not exactly a hardworking person. Passionate, yes. Hardworking, no. Dear lord, I'm facing pressure from the old lady. From my friends, and from my parents. Give me the drive to try hard, rather than give up on a hard question. It is not my nature to do so, but I've encounted this situation a couple of times now, and I chose to fight a like a coward.
Sorry for wasting 2 minutes of your time reading about my problems. I just want to let you know, I'm scared. But I'm not gonna give up. This is my life. I'm going to make the best of it.
